Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
