my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize