The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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