OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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