Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
