Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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