Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize