i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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