ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
