hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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