okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
