"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
