The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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