Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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