Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have peed in a lot of sinks
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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