your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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