I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
