I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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