i permit you to call me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
