Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Houston, we have a squirter
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
