I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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