She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
