you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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