So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
