I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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