Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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