I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
