bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
