I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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