Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
