Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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