you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Randomize
