You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it's great music for shaving your balls
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
