Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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