He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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