I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
