I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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