Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
