The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
