Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
