My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
