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I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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