I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
