what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
