Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
