Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
