OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
as a side note pls kill me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
