At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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