Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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