So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dear god my vagina.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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